Friday, May 18, 2007

The Fear of Leaving

You know when I first got offered the chance to go to Graduate School, I was firmly settled in a career that I loved and didn't have any real idea about going to school. In fact, the school needed me to get everything together for admittance in less than a month. This seemed like an impossible feat, and I really wasn't sure I wanted to put myself through all that hassle, but the truth is that although there were a lot of reasons to go to school, I took this opportunity because of the internship. This internship is the fulfilment of not only my live's dream, but also of my abuelita Ivonne's that her grandchild, (really her favorite grandchild!), her polla bella would have the opportunity to visit her home country, Nicaragua. For me, this trip is a great opportunity not only to fulfill this dream, but a great chance to meet relatives that I haven't seen since I was a little baby, all while doing some really worthwile work that benefits the children in Nicaragua.

So, you might be asking yourself, "If she's so excited, why is this called the fear of leaving?" Well, it hit me today when my last classmate took off for their internship, that we really are going out into the world, on our own, surviving in a foreign country, and completing projects under the force of our own ability with no one else to depend on. This is a pretty scary concept considering we have spent the last two semesters (almost a year) working in some form of team or another. Even now I think this concept hasn't fully settled in my head. 3 months of aloneness! Wow. What will I do? You know, I am sure that I will figure it out, but right now, I am still kind of freaking out. So I figure I will go with that. Freaking out sounds like a plan right now. When that changes (hopefully before I leave on the plane, or at least by the time I land) I'll let you know what the next plan is, but right now, pretty much, I am sticking by the freaking out plan.

ttfn

5 comments:

Chandle said...

Thank you! Leaving is scary, at least you'll blend in, and you'll be awesome. NO sucky people to drag you down. Of course, I would be a bonus.

Mari said...

I would love to see Chan-del do Nicaragua! We should try the all girl trip one time if we make through school!

Pastor Paul said...

MAri;
freaking out sounds like a solid plan to me too! I was playing it cool, until i got to the room at the YMCA. I'm sure the Village People would disassociate with the org. if they saw the place... i took pix with my phone, but haven't got them to my computer yet. I suddenly became time to FREAK OUT!

Enjoy your family, and your country, and your project as well. Watch out for slow-moving dogs as well!

Paul

Eric Sr said...

I am very, very proud of you and I love you.
We will be praying for a safe and fun trip and a safe return.

Moll Doll said...

oh yes my good friend...the "freaking out" plan is suiting me as well. I haven't even left yet, and reading everyone's blogs about freaking out, terrible internet, cold bucket showers, etc. is probably not the best thing to pump me up...haha. oh well...such is life!