The Fear of Leaving

You know when I first got offered the chance to go to Graduate School, I was firmly settled in a career that I loved and didn't have any real idea about going to school. In fact, the school needed me to get everything together for admittance in less than a month. This seemed like an impossible feat, and I really wasn't sure I wanted to put myself through all that hassle, but the truth is that although there were a lot of reasons to go to school, I took this opportunity because of the internship. This internship is the fulfilment of not only my live's dream, but also of my abuelita Ivonne's that her grandchild, (really her favorite grandchild!), her polla bella would have the opportunity to visit her home country, Nicaragua. For me, this trip is a great opportunity not only to fulfill this dream, but a great chance to meet relatives that I haven't seen since I was a little baby, all while doing some really worthwile work that benefits the children in Nicaragua.

So, you might be asking yourself, "If she's so excited, why is this called the fear of leaving?" Well, it hit me today when my last classmate took off for their internship, that we really are going out into the world, on our own, surviving in a foreign country, and completing projects under the force of our own ability with no one else to depend on. This is a pretty scary concept considering we have spent the last two semesters (almost a year) working in some form of team or another. Even now I think this concept hasn't fully settled in my head. 3 months of aloneness! Wow. What will I do? You know, I am sure that I will figure it out, but right now, I am still kind of freaking out. So I figure I will go with that. Freaking out sounds like a plan right now. When that changes (hopefully before I leave on the plane, or at least by the time I land) I'll let you know what the next plan is, but right now, pretty much, I am sticking by the freaking out plan.

ttfn